Impossible :(

At the very first time, I didn’t like him
He looks like a rebellion boy
Having fun with his friends and playboy…
This is my first impression of him
So I just answered his question half-hearted as good manners.
I tried to be a good new friend.
But I can’t help my feeling.
I started to miss him.
I started to wait his message
I started to think about him
I started to imagine how he looks
How he eat, how he talk, how he smile.
I started to feel empty when he’s not reply my message.
At one time, all day long I think about him and
Wondering why he did not replay my message.
I knew it different from other conversations that I ever had before.
I just did it for fun.
I started to involve my emotion and my feeling.
And at one time I realize that it’s so impossible.
We are so far. We don’t know each other like I knew my friends.
We just had a little conversation for a couple days.
I just followed my heart. I just open my heart to know, to like and to love the other.
After that married incident, I have boundaries around my heart.
I did some things for the first time with him.
First time I said, I miss you to a boy.
First time I really couldn’t focus on my work because I think of him.
First time I said that I want to kiss someone in person to a boy
How ridiculous.
I started to like him. What should I do when I miss him so bad? I asked my heart.
And I little confused with my heart and my feeling.
It’s so impossible to be true.
So I realize that I have to stop it.
I have to end this as soon as possible.
I am afraid my feeling grows deeper than I expected.
I am afraid that I will fall for him and my heart will hurt because this impossibility.
I like you Mr. Be famous – you said that it is the meaning of your name.
I am glad to know you.
You make me feel like highschooler-love.