Back to December

Everyone changes. World is also changing. Morning turns into night. Night backs into light. Time makes things different. Including me.

Two years ago, maybe I was still struggling with the management of the affairs of lectures and exams at the university. But today, the same month of December, I am in very different circumstances.

I woke up in my room here. Looked up and hope that today will be a better day than yesterday. Even better than two years ago. I'm here to become a person who is very different. Or may in fact I and others never really change. I remain the same but in different times and places.

I often recall the words are very important as those made by others on me. For example, one of my professors always said i was a freak. One of my friends compare me with someone else. And so on. Trust me i always remember the words of a negative connotation and conversations that tend to hurt me.

Maybe i can say that i am not the one who always hold a grudge. But I am always pay attention to detail, save and recall memory in my brain. I think of all the things I did and rarely do spontaneously. Is that weird?

Now, it slowly dawned on me that i was indeed a very weird person, so did everyone else. All the characteristics is very complicated. When everyone asked me if i was not lonely? I will answer out loud, no.

Now i'm here, writing in this month of december, where i remember two years ago how i struggled to prepare for my thesis exam. I practice hard and i learn a lot. But the memory of it still made an impression, when i clearly failed in the closing duty of my undergraduate days. I remember the face of my testers and counselors. I remember how i stood alone trying to gather how to solve fatal mistake i did.

Wise people have always said that all should be thankful and considered it as a lesson. I know that.

Maybe write my feelings about the event two years ago could be an indicator that i'm a freak. 

This december, i lost weight and my toe nail almost broken. But this december i consider to be an entrance into 2013 that will take me on a stage of life that i was sure would be more beautiful, better and more peaceful.

Happy Beautiful December!!!

Thanks For Reading!!!